Firstly,we talk about the causes of air pollution.One of the main causes of air pollution is the exhaust of the cars especially after the increasing of the cars` number.Another cause is the using of insecticides in the agriculture areas.Another cause is the flame of industries in the industrial areas.
Secondly,we talk about the results of air pollution.Air pollution reduced the visibility.One of the major results of this problem is the spread the diseases among people especially the diseases of respiratory system.Another result is the increasing of temperature,then the increasing of electricity consuming.
Thirdly,we talk about the suggested solutions about this problem.The government have to specify places to smoke.Smokers should decrease smoking.The government have to put rules to force people and industries to use filters in their cars and industries .Farmers should decrease the using of insecticides.
So,we found that the air pollution is ahuge problem,and we wish to co-operate with the government to solve this grief and enjoy our life in purity and neatness.
A good essay, but I want you to make it longer Yosra.
ReplyDeleteThe following are some corrections that you should do:
1. One of the major results of this problem is the spread (of) the diseases among people especially
The government have to specify places to smoke(smoking) .
It's agood essay, the words are clear and expressive, it's easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteThe purpose of the essay is clear, and the ideas are defacto.I think it's agood essay.
But try to make it longer more.
good yosra you make your own essay with your own words but try to read more your essay should include more information or discussion.Good Girl
ReplyDeleteA good draft yosra.It is well-organized and your introduction is interesting.words are simple and easy to be understood. But I think you should take care of tenses and you need to make your essay longer.
ReplyDelete